Dear Grad School,
I know that no school wants to get a letter like this, but I've been a little concerned about your health. As a good friend, I cannot just let this go. Grad School, your looking a little, well, obese.
I didn't say anything when you were eating up hours out of my weekdays. I mean, that was understandable and even welcome. You were so emaciated before, you needed to eat something. Up to eight hours a day, five days a week is a healthy diet. But, Grad School, things have started to get a little out of control.
First you started eating up my weeknights as well. Then you started in on the weekends. First just nibbling around the edges, but more recently swallowing them whole before I can even get them out of the oven.
Sure, I was noticing you were looking a little bloated, but I chalked it up to just retaining water or an adjustment period. I figured once things go settled you would slim down to a nice healthy weight.
Instead your appetite grew. Weekdays, school nights, weekends, free-time. You just snacked your way through my week. When was the last time I exercised, washed the dishes or cleaned the bathroom? You get to them before I can and keep packing on the pounds.
I think it is time for an intervention. Grad School, you need to go on a diet. How about we start small? You cut back on your between week snacking and do a little portion controlling during the week and I'll let you keep all those weekday hours and even an occasional between week snack when necessary.
Sound like a deal? Please circle yes or no.